What is Shadow Work?

Written by Jennifer Aldoretta, founder of Groove

Before we get into the juicy details about what Shadow Work actually is, let’s briefly take a step back. What is “the Shadow” that we’re talking about here?

The “Shadow” or “Shadow self” is part of our unconscious self. It’s those “negative” or “dark” aspects of the self we may not be aware of, or aspects that we have not yet fully accepted and integrated into our being. This Shadow often contains behaviors or characteristics that we really don’t like about ourselves...and, oftentimes, the things we most deeply hate.

Some examples of Shadow qualities might include: a need to control, criticism, self-loathing, judgement of others, dishonesty, or jealousy (among many others). In some individuals, the Shadow may even manifest as qualities that cause harm to others, like abusive behavior, physical violence, emotional abusiveness, sexual violence, rage, etc.

Many parts of the Shadow live below our conscious awareness — meaning we don’t even realize they’re there.

Shadow Work is the process of using our self-awareness to integrate and accept parts of ourselves that perhaps we don’t like very much.

However, the way I look at the Shadow, the “Shadow self” is a natural byproduct of life. The light of the sun casts a shadow, day must give way to night, death follows birth. And so the cycle of life goes.

So the Shadow isn’t necessarily a “bad” or negative thing, even though we may be conditioned to see it that way and may want to “get rid of” our shadow qualities or just bury them inside of us. But, as we’ll learn, burying our Shadow qualities doesn’t help…as long as we avoid our Shadow, it will negatively impact our life.

I come from a 12-Step background, and one of the most profoundly helpful things I’ve heard about Shadow Work came from someone in a 12-Step Group:

GOOD FOR YOU for finding a way to survive! Your Shadow may be ugly, you may not like it, you may want to get rid of it, but its qualities and characteristics were developed by your past self as a way to survive and to cope in the face of your most difficult, painful life experiences. Maybe nobody taught you how to deal with your emotions in a healthy way, and your unhealthy coping strategies became part of your Shadow. Maybe you carry deep trauma and wounding that you never fully processed, and these energies and pain feed your Shadow.

The creation of your Shadow Self served a purpose: to keep you alive and get you to where you are right now. Parts of your Shadow probably no longer serve you — so now it’s time to look at your Shadow, to unravel it, and to teach yourself new strategies and skills so you can move forward in your life in a way that you are truly proud of.

When you look at it that way, you can start to see that your Shadow can actually be a gift. And this acceptance mindset, I believe, is integral if we want to truly face and move beyond the Shadow self. Plus, if you’re reading this, you’re now aware that your Shadow exists, and that’s honestly the biggest hurdle.

But don’t worry — if you’re not ready to accept your Shadow self, or if you find it difficult or painful to think of your Shadow as a gift, that is absolutely fine! Don’t rush yourself. Be patient, and have compassion for exactly where you are in your journey.

So then, what is Shadow Work?

Shadow Work is the process of using our self-awareness to integrate and accept parts of ourselves that perhaps we don’t like very much. We do this by digging into both the unconscious (and conscious) parts of the Shadow — the dark parts of ourselves that we know about and also the ones we may not be aware of.

The goal is to ultimately bring the unconscious (or unaware) Shadow Self into our conscious awareness, so that we can learn to fully accept it.

Shadow Work isn’t about criticism…it’s about becoming curious.

We must do the work to unlearn the habits, behaviors, and beliefs that led to the development of our Shadow qualities. Then we can find tools and ways of being that are good for us in the here and now.

It’s super easy to judge our Shadow qualities. Once upon a time, whenever I would realize that I had a quality I didn’t exactly enjoy about myself, I would criticize and judge it. But Shadow Work isn’t about criticism…it’s about becoming curious. That’s where the real magic happens.